Angelina's Twins Photographed in Public for First Time

Cuties Caught On Camera While On a Shopping Spree with Mommy and Daddy

11-01-2008

PARIS, FRANCE - Virtual Dog Park's team of crack photographers finally captured the prize picture they have been seeking for weeks.

Ben Watkins, VDP photographic journalist and his amazing staff of 18 have been stalking Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt relentlessly throughout France.

Well they finally got their shot when they cornered Angelina and Brad having a carefree fun time with their newborns in the toy section of an exclusive Parisian Department Store. Angelina was petting and tickling her twins when our staff jumped out from behind the stuffed animals and surprised them!

Although she was caught off guard Jolie was cordial and glad to see our staff. She yelled and screamed at Watkins and showed him the mace that she would use if he were an unwelcomed paparazzo.

During the photo shoot Angie pulled out a large loaded 57 magnum and opened fire, initially wounding 7 of our VDP photographers. Fortunately only three of the shooting victims died during the snapping of the first set of photographs.

When she ran out of bullets Angelina continued to spray the VDP staff with mace and then tazered the ones already downed as she violently smashed our expensive cameras and equipment.

For his part Brad Pitt remained amazingly calm as he pulled out a custom made 15-inch forged steel German hunting knife and began stabbing Watkins and savagely slaughtering his remaining assistants.

After the photo shoot Jolie, Pitt and their offspring cannibalized VDP's entire staff. All that was left for the Toy Department janitors to clean up was a small amount of blood, hair, bone, eye, and organ residue.

Just before dying Watkins said he interpreted Angelina's actions as indicating she was glad to see that the first photos of her twins would appear on the high class pages of Virtual Dog Park Webzine rather than, as she kept screaming, "Some F***kin' half-assed lame humor site that doctors up photos to show celebrities in their worst possible light."