Bush 'High Tails' It Out Of Atlanta after Demanding Russian Troop Withdrawal

President's Ingenious Shortening of Travel Time to Slavic Nation Allows Him to Schedule Attendance at a Braves Baseball Game.

08-25-2008

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - Early this morning a dazed and confused President George W. Bush was greeted by an angry, jeering, sign waving crowd in Atlanta. The Decider was in Atlanta hoping to convince the Russians to leave Georgia.

The mainly middle class crowd kept shouting the phrase "Wrong Georgia, Asshole!" but their protests did not seem to resonate with the President.

Undaunted Bush began his speech, "I realize many of you are struggling to make ends meet, living from paycheck to paycheck barely able to afford your private country club dues and also get stone cold drunk off your gourd."

Sensing something wrong Bush continued to forge ahead saying, "Now more than ever Georgia must grow enough peaches to supply the burgeoning World Wide demand for cheap Russian Peach Vodka.

Bush then called on all white-trash Americans to conserve vodka resources by mixing their cheap peach vodka with Thunderbird or other inexpensive wine until an alternative source for gut-burning drunkenness can be developed.

At this point Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice whispered into Bush's ear. An embarrassed Bush then cut his speech short saying he was sorry for the mistake and was heading to the other Georgia to meet with Putin and play a "friendly round of golf at Augusta National."