Neighbors Describe Pup-Porn Mastermind as Looking Like 'The Guy-Next Door'

Respected Sex Industry Director Now Faces Criminal Charges

09-24-2008

NEW YOK, NEW YORK - Adult Canine Porn Mogul Bernie Guffman was arrested today at his movie studio in Harlem.



Guffman has been under heavy investigation ever since the release of his latest xxx hit "White Mutts Can't Hump", last month. He is accused of illegally utilizing under age dogs in this extremely frisky basketball flick.

Authorities claim that he has vast ties to an underground Internet Puppy Porn ring that may include some well-known political figures.

Guffman is famous for his many Adult Canine Porn classics: "Schindler's Lick", "When Hairy Sniffed Sally", "Ram-bone", "Driving Over Miss Daisy", "You've Got Tail", "Pup Friction", "Romancing The Bone", and the Broadway Musical Theatre Classic "Fiddle-Her-On-The-Ruff".

Guffman's lawyer Barry Hardon told reporters "Mr. Guffman has been a respected member of the Adult Canine Film Industry for many years and has never used under age dogs in any of his productions."

After being booked and released on bail, Bernie told reporters if he is found innocent he will retire to his West Virginia Puppy Mill and become an animal rights advocate.