Michael Vick’s Doggy Health Spa and Boutique Opens Despite Federal Restrictions

Affectionately Calling His New Project 'Your Last Resort', Ex-NFL Star Vick, Creates a Resort-Style Getaway For Desperate Homeless Strays.

05-07-2008

LEAVENWORTH, KANSAS - Despite Federal restrictions on his freedom, a determined Michael Vick has gone ahead with plans and opened his 1st Canine entrepreneurial venture behind bars. Vick along with secret assistance from newly wealthy night shift prison guards, just celebrated the Grand Opening of his first foray into the hospitality industry.

Says night shift prison guard and degenerate gambler, Barney Fife, “You need to remember that most of these dogs aren’t trained in the fine art of combat, their just strays. But thanks to the kind heart of Michael their gonna get a fightin’ chance. You can bet on that!”

Michael Vick’s Doggy Health Spa and Boutique is a world class resort and villa complex run by Michael Vick and known associates- a.k.a. felons. The Spa offers luxury accommodations in either electro shock steel cages or state of the art barbed wire condos overlooking Michael’s private pool. It’s evident by everything that goes on around this maximum security facility that Michael personally sees to every detail and takes special pride in his “Southern Hospitality.”

For those dogs who love to shop there’s the exclusive Boutique Chez Galleria, where you’ll find everything from an antique doggy treadmill with a beautiful saliva and vomit patina, to blood drippin’ bite sticks or high voltage doggy tazers.

All guests staying= surviving the first night are eligible to use all Michael Vick Health Club gym and workout facilities including rape stands, gallows, and guillotine.

Yes Fido Michael Vick’s is an “ALL INCLUSIVE RESORT” we even supply the electrodes!!

Modeled after Saddam’s Spazzz, Michael Vick’s is the “Ultimate Getaway and Stay Away For The Pampered Pet in You!!”

Michael Vick’s truly is - as Michael himself says, “YOUR LAST RESORT”

For more info... or to recieve a pre chewed brochure dmail us @ vickslastresort.dog

Electro-Shock Collarships available- call for de-tails.

Michael Vick’s is faithfully sponsored by Bone-Agra